secret rendezvous...

....with the neighbor...
ok so its a joke my roomates beth and caitlin and i came up with...i have secret rendezvous with the neighbor..i climb out my window at night and we meet at the flamingos..though we did take a break cuz his max bacus sign upset me...the rendezvous are quite the thing you know..lol

ok so today i was thinking about how our favorite classic movies always have a "savior" we all cling to these because we think it will fill our need..even cinderella and such ya know... it just fascinates me...

so today i had an opportunity to stand alone..we did this thing on values at my mentorship training...so there was a question on if you think established religion was important out of thirty i was the only one who said yes...then there was the question do you think someone should be married before living together..one girl joined me on that..then was death penalty and like 3 joined us and then came whether we agree with the us involvement in iraq.. stood alone agian... so ya.. and the lady asked us on the marriage one how we felt.. i was okay with it which actually surprised me... but ya... this was to prove we all have different values and thats okay and such ya relativism... its everywhere... LOVE YOU

sometimes praying...

through the tears brings healing...

have you been where you thought you were over something, but then something happens and you realize maybe you werent? Today that happened to me but the minute the tears began the prayers also began of blessing and joy for those involved and i could feel the release, the final healing..i think that prayer through the tears is probably what God wanted from me from the start...so there is my insight for the day:)

so last night i went bowling at the msu bowling alley with some friends...it was fun..but shock of all shocks i lost..wow imagine that with my intense bowling skills who would have thought:)? Then we returned to the dorms and a group of us played Quelf omg that is the funniest/funnest game i have ever played in my life... I havent laughed so hard in a long time..i was crying i was laughing so hard... i reccomend this game for everyone its super great and SO MUCH FUN!!! so ya that is pretty much it for today:)

I asked my two best freinds and my sister to describe me... Dawn:honest,genuine,giving,super-sensitive,intelligent Dawn also described me in non adjectives...Moon, old faithful,cherries,teddybear,and lilacs
Katie:joyful,opintionated,conservative,introverted.loyal
Rachel:faithful, passionate,compassionate,joyful,and god focused

what is sin...

.... is shyness???...

today i came to the conclusion that it is, if it makes you not reach out to people or just i guess take an interest in than yes it is, my friend Matt says its not and that i am just trying to overcome my shyness and want to find a reason why i should. He claims that God creates people shy but i have yet too see how that is glorifying to Him. A quiet spirit or quietness maybe of actually for sure but shyness not really. I guess i am on some levels confused on this... I feel that sometimes i come across as a snob and that's not something i want. Maybe its just me not being content in who God made me... i don't know i guess i am struggling with this issue now so if y'all have any input let me know)

Well i am making friends and i don't hate it here anymore:) that's a good sign right??? Classes are still going well. Halloween is coming up and i am pretty much excited. I shall be a basketball player lol...with an Afro:) so what else shall i share? oh yes i went to this thing called A call to worship Sunday night at msu and it was so great just to worship God and feel the weight of the world fall away, and then Caitlin my roommate and i then sang worship songs on the walk back underneath the stars it was really beautiful and just calming i guess. I am also still working on the whole contentment issue but i think i am getting better thank you God! so ya oh and on sunday after church Caitlin and i went to our first home away from home meal with the couple that "adopted" us. I really enjoyed that, they are very neat people. It didnt feel really awkward which is always nice ya know? well i have class tonight and some homework to do actually.... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully i will keep more up with this:)

Breath
Taking a deep breath
Reminds me I am alive
Alive for what I ask?
Am I alive to wander,
To slowly crawl,
To glory You?
Your deep voice,
Resonates in my heart
To glory Me.
I desire you to glory Me
Even when taking a deep breath
You shout into my heart.

Heart
My heart is yours
From the day I was born
for you it was meant
I do not know your name
Oh but God does
For he created you
There were times when I desired
To give my heart away
Oh but God prevented that
He knew the day would come
When with tears of joy
I would want to gift you with my whole heart
That day has not yet come
I am holding onto God
Fully trusting in His plan
For one day upon you my eyes will fall
And with Gods leading
My heart you’ll hold

Thoughts
Thoughts criss-cross my mind
Missing the familiar
What does my future hold?
Why would our magnificent God choose me?
Does anyone want to be my friend?
Then I am reminded you gently calling
I have loved you with an everlasting love
That is why I have chosen you
And yes though the world may seem to forsake you
I will be your friend