Blessings....

I sometimes forget all that God has blessed me with. If I would just remember my view on God might be a little more accurate. It amazes me how quickly I forget how faithful God is after all He has done for me.
- He is growing me into a woman of character. Though it may be painful and I may have no idea where it is going.

- even though I may not have been given anyone's dream birth family or even adoptive family. God has given me an extended family who have loved me and friends who have adopted me into their family. I am exceedingly greatful though at times I forget and it's still lonely.

- He has given me a dream in my heart for adoption and make a difference in children's lives.

- I do not take for granted that he has allowed to on a small level make a difference in kids lives on Sunday morning. I do not take these kids trust lightly.

- God thank you for putting friends in my life who trust me with their "lives" not physically but emotionally and such. I do not take their trust lightly either God. I pray that I am worthy of it.

- I thank you God that you have caused me to start to trust people with my "life" and that is a continual process.

- thank you for beginning the process of teaching me true forgiveness of years of abandonment and hurt. I pray that you would continue it to conpletetion no matter how hard I fight you. We may think we have forgiven but it's not until we have been faced with the issue head on that we begin to heal.

That's just to start. Thank you for taking the time to read my crazy thoughts.

my thoughts...

.....from the past week or so....

• I like to think I am all brave and independent, but in reality its a cover so i dont look weak...sometimes unhealthily i think i dont need anyone, or should trust them with my feelings...i think its my defense against more emotional pain...
• my future terrifies me some days: I have always known what my end goal was (even if it changed, I had a plan) for the first time I dont have that, I dont even know what to do for the next section of my life...I have decided to focus on that instead of the rest of my life...
• Can I just say it some days sucks to be 23 and to have never been on a date...I know God has protected me, but sometimes with our culture of dating...you wonder whats wrong with you. Yesterday Rachel and I were talking about this guy I liked one summer, that we think liked me too, and Rachel said I think if he had asked you out, the two of you would be married by now...not going to lie that freaked me out a little... I     think I would not have been ready for marriage then, or even now...so maybe its a good thing I have not been on a date yet, I do pray that the only guy that asks me out, is the guy i marry...but we shall see what God has planned for my life...as being someone who reads the end of the book first, finds out what happens in the movie, and just has plain ol' control issues sometimes does not like not knowing my future....I guess that's probably why... God is trying to teach me patience and dependence on Him..now if i could just hurry up and learn lol 
• With all that I have been feeling, I need to remember above all I have been immensely blessed. Even if I had nothing else the fact that Jesus was willing to die on a cross for my sick,sinfulness is more blessing then any human deserves!

its....blog....

TIME...

•    so today at work i called an idiot by a customer, i had to put it on mute while i laughed to myself...i can honestly say in this case i was not being an idiot...
• the new francesca batistelli album came out today, and i bought it, but have not listened to it today. I am so stinking excited!
• I found this internship with an organization that fights human trafficking that I really want to do
• The rock and worship road show tour is this friday and I am so excited to go. Lacrae with friends. YES!
• tomorrow night is the first night of the all new and improved skull church, i am going with my friend Gretchikins and  i am so very excited.
• My birthday dinner at fazooli's on saturday was amazing! I high recommend it to yall. Its in somers. 
• so i realized that my blog is not really thought provoking, so my goal is to try to write at least one thought provoking blog a month, we shall see how this goes. 
• well i am sleepy and its time for beddy bye...G'night friends! I lurve you

blogging....

...for books!

• Just wanted to tell you about something pretty cool called blogging for books....so if you love to read and you blog this is the site for you..its from waterbrook multnomah book publishers, and pretty much what you do is pick a book off the list they have for you, you read it then blog a review and post the review to their website and as long as you do that you may then go pick another book and thus the process continues...my first book is on its way! http://www.waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks/

• I just had my 23rd birthday and it was great, am excited for dinner on saturday with friends! Its going to be a good time!

• i had a lot of fun with my friend Sarah this weekend in missoula, not going to lie i am a little jealous she is currently in the warmness of arizonia!
• March 4th is the concert in missoula and i am stinking excited it will be a good time with friends
• btw i would love to encourage each of you to do the 30 day picture challenge on facebook its fun, and amazing to watch others lol 
• loves to you all

thank you!...

to my new followers thank you :) time for a positive post...

• after my emotional outburst (as my boss calls it) in yesterdays post, today was amazing
• i love my kids in my sunday school class...when they move up to the next class i am going to be so very sad...and today was even better than usual for some reason..i had so much fun with them
• i met up with some friends to play volleyball and it was such a blast and hey i was better than usual (even though i kept getting yelled at for talking to much :)) i fully felt comfortable 
• then we came back to my house ate some chili i had made, watched salt and just had fun conversation...
• over all i LOVED my day :) 
• i whine too much about deep friends, i should be thankful for the ones i have been given and work on making those deep :)
• i just cant help it...i am actually excited about my upcoming classes...
• Intro to Psychology
• Intro to Sociology
• Art History Survey II
• Intro to American Government
• Intro to Human Services and Social Work
• I have an amazing roommate...SUSAN GOLLIDAY i love you friend...your dogs eh...well they have their moments
• Tomorrow i have lunch at Bonelli''s bistro with my friend Leslie...i always have fun with her...love you leslie :)
• so this guy i know shane has a blog and he wrote this blog entry and its super powerful yall should check it out....http://shanesmusings.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/how-devoted-are%C2%A0you/
• its time for bed love you all and thanks for taking the time from your busy schedule to read this....i appreciate it 

bangs...

...i know have them...

•       I have not had bangs since I was around nine years old...lets just say its a big step. I think i like them. Thanks Susan :)
•       Bangs is a new step in my life toward a more sophisticated me...as is my goal to read a book a week....
• This week i read " Loss of Innocence" by Ron and Carren Clem...Not sure what it will be next week.
• ----great book 
• I am thinking maybe "Because He loves us"- Elyse Fitzpatrick

questions...

...about "tomorrow"

• i feel like my job is pointless...i dont actually help people and I HATE THAT
• i want to make a difference, make someones life better...
• would love to find a job that did makes a difference
• still not sold on being a teacher...
• maybe a social worker, a police officer, or a lawyer
• I know Karlina make up  your mind...goodness gracious
• a friend told me something the other day but someone one else swore her to secrecy so she wont give me more details...good to know she is trustworthy but a little disappointing on the other end because i cant figure out what it is lol...LOVE YOU LEANN!
• I NEED TO GO TO BED...an actual real post tomorrow

more...

favorites!!!

• Bones( the tv show)
• adoption
• heath coffee ice cream
• peanut butter
• shoes
• the color green
• art
• flowers
• quelf
• big sky bible camp
• movies
• making new friends...

12...

of my favorite things

• Singer/songwritter music
• books
• pumpkin pie blizzards
• pumpkin spice lattes
• fall
• rainy days
• Remember the titans
• laughter
• dancing in the rain
• winter hats
• my new printer
• YOU

time...

....for a new blog post

• for some reason i love writing the bullet blog...limh(laughing in my head)
• i dont think people should say lol unless they are actually laughing out loud thus LIMH or LOTI(laughing on the inside)
• i start real actual college a week from Monday,it scares me...dont ask me why i just wonder if i can do it
• I am going for elementary education, i love kids and figure i would love to work with them for the rest of my life
• i take my placement test tomorrow...hopefully i dont get put in remedial classes...would be a hit to my pride...hey at least i can admit it 
• i cant wait to switch to part time so i can have a life....yeah for lives haha
• my beautiful big sister that i love a lot is moving back to montana(to billings so its seven hours away) but i am excited
• its currently almost one am and i am drinking coffee and watching ncis(i need to get on a regular sleep schedule...took a four hour nap today)
• sadly my hair is damaged,i left the frosting kit on their too long
• i am a fan of randomness(obviously from my blog)
• i love today's weather, of rain and overcast, ah i love rain it just makes my soul happy
• my favorite song of the moment is "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles, its kinda mean but i love it and its catchy...also "the finish line" by Train
• Shawn McDonald needs to come to kalispell...though his divorce does make me question my love of his music,but i cant help it, its super great and speaks to my soul, so i figure God is still using it
• i miss babysitting, so if you need a babysitter this fall give me a call...i love kiddos
• this fall i hope to build some new friendships and build more on some old ones,so if you want to hang out let me know:) i would love to get to know you better
• i just got a twitter update by Rick Warren its a great quote "God lets you choose whether you'll be arrogant or anointed but you cant be both"
• okay so i need to go to sleep that is all for now!!
• 
  

lunch...

...was interesting today...
          
                so it all started when i asked my coworker megan were she went to eat lunch and if i could join her...she ate at the picnic table outside and of course said yes...well we are sitting there just talking about movies and such when are coworker travis walks by and says something about us sitting there eating and he was smoking so i was like are you walking around the building smoking? which somehow turned into the fact he hates the fact he smokes and wants to quit and then how he does not like himself and then somehow about souls and what the bible says about souls and the fact he is agnostic and megan is something like agnostic and then i asked how you could believe part of the bible and not all of it...that just doesnt make sense to me...so we discussed that for awhile and we did not get to finish our conversation...but i enjoyed it a lot...it was good and the first time in a LONG time i discussed things like that with people who do not believe like i do at all...it was so good for me and refreshing...i hope to finish it tomorrow and that we all grow from our discussion...who knew who knew....

life...

sometimes is lonely...

                    Do you ever feel?

• you dont know where you fit in
• you have this passionate desire in your heart you are pretty sure wont come true?
• how did i get here?

 ok so enough depressing thoughts... i finally have a job its at a bank of america call center...its interesting...when i get on my normal schedule in like two weeks i will work tues-friday 2:30pm to 11pm and sat from 9-5:30pm with sunday and monday off...its going to kill my summer...i am going to miss camp SOOOOOOOOO very much...that place hold such a special place in my heart....

• sometimes i feel like i want to move somewhere where i know no one and see how i would do
• my current life plan is to attend fvcc for two years and then transfer to the university of Hawaii at monoa
• i think i am finally giving up on my happily ever after....
• sometimes i wonder who my true friends are

hello world...

again...

• I suck at this whole blog thing...lets see if i can do better
• school is over in a week, and i am excited but i shall miss my classmates...
• I will miss pick on Daniel days...just wont be the same...poor guy
• i have another job interview tomorrow i hate them, because so far no job
• this is the weekend of bonfires for me; one Friday night and one Sunday night...i am excited
• i really must manage my time better but i just love hanging out with people
• I am in this REALLY great small group on Thursday evenings...i love it and the people in it...its grand and helps me to grow
• I am giving up my search for the green eyed, scarved man...sad panda
• i have no idea what i am doing with the rest of my life and it scares the crap out of me
• I am horrible at staying in touch
• even because of the above i love my friends and family
• i am tired and really must go to sleep
• love to you all...btw is anyone reading this?

you know you want to learn...

More about me :-) :

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? one of my roomates yummy peanut butter chocolate cookies
2.Where was your profile picture taken? In mi coche :)
3.Can you play Guitar Hero? nah i suck really bad.its fun but i get booed usually
4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Carrie hicks...i chocked on water i was laughing at her and i looking for the powdered sugar
5.How late did you stay up last night and why? 12...i couldnt sleep
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? hmm i love my montana maybe the dominican republic
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? nada
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? kay
9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? dont know never had one...
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? love it :)
11. When was the last time you cried really hard? hmm...i cry during worship songs all the time, and then today when Pastor Levi told the D.L Moody story i cried, but i havent cried really hard in a long time
12. Who took your profile picture? Me
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? a clown lol
14. Was yesterday better than today? each day is pretty darn cool
15. Can you live a day without TV? Yes
16. Are you upset about anything? nopers...
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yes, there is always chances you could get hurt, but i have discovered from the past that if you close yourself off you will definately get hurt and wont have the memories of that closeness
18. Are you a bad influence? are you kidding me...
19. Night out or night in?
20. What items could you not go without during the day? my cellphone
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? demina
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? ya she just said they laughed
23. How do you feel about your life right now? its what God has planned
24. Do you hate anyone? nah no reason
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? Messages
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? that is a stupid question...heck yes
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? haha have you met me? I am sinful human just like yall
28. What song is stuck in your head? Jesus paid it all
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m. who do you want it to be? someone i know and love..
30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? yes
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? hm...
32. Do you think too much or too little? probably to much
33. Do you smile a lot? ya

something i wrote yesterday...

...its interesting....
Saw a beautiful rainbow today and it reminded me of God's promises and goodness which is what I needed. In this last week, in all my tiredness God will still work, He will do His thing. What a joy to know.
Only 2 1/2 days of camp left for this summer. So begins my job search whoo hoo lucky me! So anywhose i shall miss poeple and just having them around. I will miss living with caitlin. Yes Imagine that miss living with caitlin, even her loud peirced nipples conversations in coffee shops. Psycho child! lol.( there is a story behind that). She may continue those adventures with Demina. Have fun my lovely friends. Don't break too many hearts this year buddy. Caitlin we know what you to boys who approach you in coldstone :). Now Mckenna have fun in Havre. That place has no idea what its in for. So McKenna i say to you dont break those boys hearts!! Have lots of picture taking adventures and think of me fondly! Yall must come on down for my birthday dear buddies. We gonna celebrate! No worries Demina i'll be there when you turn two one :) PARTAAY!!! sorry this blog is more of an open letter...lol
So anywho at the sametime i am excited for new adventures with carrie and new buddies. Now sure what to expect but thats part of the new adventures of a new life... I love people but i dont love the meeting new people part... it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable and that feeling doesnt go away until i have known them for a period of time...anywho thats kinda where i am at...
love you all

friendship...

....
So i think sometimes you really don't have a choice who you become friends with...there is something about your inner souls that connect...its a divinely oppointed gift.
I discovered one of those this summer with a beautiful gifted girl named Madison Childs, or rather giggles, or even for that matter laffytaffy. We were so alike in many areas...i guess we just understood where the other person was coming from. I had so much fun with her. Her joy,laughter,campassion,and encouraging smile were such a gift and her friendship blessed my life and my summer. I look forward to continue our friendship and this blog isnt what i planned...i cant seem to find the words... anywho i love you giggles!! The laffy to my taffy :)

shawn mcdonald....

... what a gift you hold

I am sitting here in a coffee shop in bozeman listening to shawn mcdonalds live in seattle and all i can say is God blessed that man with an incredible gift. I love all of his music but there is something about his live in seattle cd that God uses to reach in and touch my soul. His music seems to connect to the cry of my heart to God. My soul deep within seems to relax in peace... I understand its not him or his music but the Holy Spirit but He uses this simple human gift of music. Well not simple because we all know music is not my gift :)
It amazes me how God uses us humans for stuff, i mean i mess up all the time...daily/hourly/by the minute actually by the second yet God has a purpose for my life that will bring Him glory. It gets me He doesnt just have a purpose but a purpose that can bring the God of the universe glory. Can you imagine what kind of purpose that is?? Its big enough to bring God glory. WOW
Moving on. Today is a day filled with the light of the sun, and it makes my heart rejoice! I know i know my heart needs to rejoice no matter the weather... why do we allow such little things to impact our heart? Tomorrow, next month, ten years from now we wont remember what the weather was like but we shall remember how our hearts felt, what that time of life was like spiritually and emotionally for us, yet we allow such insignificant things to cloud our vision and our souls deep emotions.
I am done being being reflective :) life is good, had a good weekend.... sunday is easter!!! Love that day...Thank you Jesus for your work on the cross!
Much love to all,
Karda

...its been...

awhile...

hey yall sorry i know its been awhile since my last post... life is going good... i have three really good friends here that i enjoy and man what fun adventures we have had here are a list of some of them...

• went to billings for shopping and olive garden...had a "vampire" waiter
• dressed in crazy clothes and had a picture taking sesson at the library...we have more photo sessons in the works like dressing up and going to the cementary
• hawaiian themed mystery party ahaha
• driving around trying to do donuts(failing miserably), going and listening to music and our stupid comments
• sledding through a treey patch and then being cold and super wet going to coldstone for ice cream and caitlin gets a guys number :)
• kidnapping them going to old chigago, then mini golfing ahaha and watching cool runnings
• every moment with them is super funny filled with stupid comments and just plain enjoyment of each others company... I thank God He introduced these people to me and placed them in my life...this year without them would have been depressing and lonely... so ya thats been alot of my crazy times...
• we hang out about at least twice a week so ya..

LOVE YOU CAITLIN,DEMINA AND MCKENNA!!!!

sometimes...

...you just feel like writing....

really not sure what though...

• sometimes i think about the past and wonder what and why
• Sometimes i think about the future and do the same
• i was reading a karen kingsberry book last night and couldnt stop bawling(really quite pathetic)
• in biblical counseling class we had to pick a sin to work on... i went with being controlled by emotions...
• not sure how that will playout yet
• its weird how my sister katie and i have the same issues yet they play out differently(or so i think)
• man i miss getting hugs, i feel since coming to bozeman i dont get enough
• i love to give massages but feel like i dont really have anyone in bozeman to give them too
• this saturday we may take a journey to billings, that should be a fun/FUNNY adventure
• i am sad i dont get invited to any of the bible college things
• i would love to see one of my two best friends
• sometimes i wonder why people ask my advice or tell me things because half (actually most of the time) i have no idea what to say, and i fail.
• if i go without laughing for any semi medium amount of time, i start to feel sad
• according to Mckenna i have a passion for birth-defected australians(actually he was new zealand there Mckenna:))
• i need to work on not reacting:P
• dawn loves to run over small kittens in her car( i swear i didnt put that as your status,whoever did is funny though)
• my class on cults is SUPER interesting, but half the time i am blown away how it even makes sense to them
• i would love to be able to write a book

well i am getting tired..so i shall continue my crazy lists later

new years day...

and my feelings...

KO, so my news years plans were not the intricate but they were special.. i went on a "date" with my best friend rachel...we went to the thai palace, then went and rented like four movies(death race,i can do bad all by myself(tyler perry play), ghost town, and two weeks notice) then went for smoothies and shared a blondie brownie at applebees, then came home and watched part of diary of a mad black woman with momma lisa,and then we watched two weeks notice..i like that movie alot...so as you can see man are we ever cool...haha...it was nice to have a "date" with her... so ya then today rachels parents,me,rachel and her two four year old brothers went sledding,then we got sarah("our" sister who is 14, actually rachels little sis), and matt(rachels boyfriend) joined us and we went to perkins for dinner, then matt,rachel and i rented wanted and came home and watched it...cant say i am a fan...just not my style i guess... tomorrow or such we shall watch death race...must say i am excited lol...

ok so my feelings i was just thinking how sad it is that i am not really friends with anyone i went to high school with, we never really talk to each other and that makes me sad,but i must say its pretty much my fault..i never really made an effort with them and now that makes me sad:(...

also today was kinda emotional for me...there were a few tears shed...silly friend...i love them alot,but hey lets face it they are flakey lol and can really hurt my feelings, i know they mean well and i actually believe they do love me,but sometimes in my dramaticness i forget that or have too high expectations for this person...you would think by now i would know that but i guess i keep hoping...but no matter what i love them and always will they are my friend and i am loyal...so ya there are my feelings and such ha