feelings...

so i found my younger sister,older sister,younger brother and older brother...have talked to my sisters...older bro hasnt called me back yet and younger bro just hasnt called yet...


this whole thing has been super scary...would they want to talk to me..do they even have any interest? I mean jade and jarod tried to contact me a while back and i said no..so now will they want anything to do with me? Its been like 17 years...or their entire lifetime...what really makes someone a sibling...is it birth, is it choice? I dont just want to find them, i want to build a relationship with them, but will they want any part of that?? Is it oh she is okay, thats good and leave it there ya know...
Well so i have talked to Jade and Kenyada..both went well in my opinion...i would love to forge a relationship with them, family is so important..i dont know if they have the same feelings or not... I called my older bro jarod on thursday, he has yet to return my call..guess its not important to him... its sometimes hard to realize what you want, isnt what others want ya know? I think ill call my little bro jesse tonight or tomorrow night...its weird how in my heart i love all four of them, yet i dont really know them...its almost a natural thing ya know?? i cant discribe it... and i feel weird and vulnerable... but i am still excited about this all...