sorry

i suck at this sorry but check out my new attempt to take a picture a day at www.kardasmile.blogspot.com

you know you want to learn...

More about me :-) :

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? one of my roomates yummy peanut butter chocolate cookies
2.Where was your profile picture taken? In mi coche :)
3.Can you play Guitar Hero? nah i suck really bad.its fun but i get booed usually
4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Carrie hicks...i chocked on water i was laughing at her and i looking for the powdered sugar
5.How late did you stay up last night and why? 12...i couldnt sleep
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? hmm i love my montana maybe the dominican republic
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? nada
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? kay
9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? dont know never had one...
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? love it :)
11. When was the last time you cried really hard? hmm...i cry during worship songs all the time, and then today when Pastor Levi told the D.L Moody story i cried, but i havent cried really hard in a long time
12. Who took your profile picture? Me
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? a clown lol
14. Was yesterday better than today? each day is pretty darn cool
15. Can you live a day without TV? Yes
16. Are you upset about anything? nopers...
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yes, there is always chances you could get hurt, but i have discovered from the past that if you close yourself off you will definately get hurt and wont have the memories of that closeness
18. Are you a bad influence? are you kidding me...
19. Night out or night in?
20. What items could you not go without during the day? my cellphone
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? demina
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? ya she just said they laughed
23. How do you feel about your life right now? its what God has planned
24. Do you hate anyone? nah no reason
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? Messages
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? that is a stupid question...heck yes
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? haha have you met me? I am sinful human just like yall
28. What song is stuck in your head? Jesus paid it all
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m. who do you want it to be? someone i know and love..
30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? yes
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? hm...
32. Do you think too much or too little? probably to much
33. Do you smile a lot? ya

some poems i wrote this past winter...

SNOW

Twirling flakes of pure beauty slowly fall
They grace a young childs eyelash
A joyful giggle breaks the dawn
For just a small moment in time the worlds at peace
All because a twirling flake of pure icey beauty fell one wintry day


Peace
A child cries in the dark of night
No one hears they are too busy yelling PEACE PEACE
We yell PEACE, PEACE with our mouths,
yet our lives tell a different story
When will they sing the same tune
They will never sing the same tune as long as I focus on me
The day of self of sacrifice is the day of peace

something i wrote yesterday...

...its interesting....
Saw a beautiful rainbow today and it reminded me of God's promises and goodness which is what I needed. In this last week, in all my tiredness God will still work, He will do His thing. What a joy to know.
Only 2 1/2 days of camp left for this summer. So begins my job search whoo hoo lucky me! So anywhose i shall miss poeple and just having them around. I will miss living with caitlin. Yes Imagine that miss living with caitlin, even her loud peirced nipples conversations in coffee shops. Psycho child! lol.( there is a story behind that). She may continue those adventures with Demina. Have fun my lovely friends. Don't break too many hearts this year buddy. Caitlin we know what you to boys who approach you in coldstone :). Now Mckenna have fun in Havre. That place has no idea what its in for. So McKenna i say to you dont break those boys hearts!! Have lots of picture taking adventures and think of me fondly! Yall must come on down for my birthday dear buddies. We gonna celebrate! No worries Demina i'll be there when you turn two one :) PARTAAY!!! sorry this blog is more of an open letter...lol
So anywho at the sametime i am excited for new adventures with carrie and new buddies. Now sure what to expect but thats part of the new adventures of a new life... I love people but i dont love the meeting new people part... it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable and that feeling doesnt go away until i have known them for a period of time...anywho thats kinda where i am at...
love you all

friendship...

....
So i think sometimes you really don't have a choice who you become friends with...there is something about your inner souls that connect...its a divinely oppointed gift.
I discovered one of those this summer with a beautiful gifted girl named Madison Childs, or rather giggles, or even for that matter laffytaffy. We were so alike in many areas...i guess we just understood where the other person was coming from. I had so much fun with her. Her joy,laughter,campassion,and encouraging smile were such a gift and her friendship blessed my life and my summer. I look forward to continue our friendship and this blog isnt what i planned...i cant seem to find the words... anywho i love you giggles!! The laffy to my taffy :)

Adventures at the picnic tables...

....an epic tale... part one

One could never imagine the amazing adventures that can take place galavanting about the internet while sitting at a picnic table. Oh but the adventures that do happen... broken shins,moving tables,animals attacking,giggles,happiness,laffytaffy,talking animals,and snobbery...
You have never known rejection until you have been rejected at a picnic table;daily,on a regular basis...We hope you enjoy our stories and learn from our sad rejection... more to come...

sitting...

in a hotel in santiago Dominican republic....
thought i would give a short update, i fly to the us today and finally get to montana on monday so tomorrow...anywho this has been one of the greatest experiences of my life... i have so much to share and lots of pictures which you can check out on facebook once i get my laptop back and post them all:) tonight i stay in a hotel in salt lake city...so i hope all is well i love you lots and miss yall :)

life....

.... is a journey :)

• This past week i helped with the special olympics in Bozeman, and that was great fun. I helped at the picture taking booth
• This past weekend i helped with a youth retreat called Ground Zero. It was really good, and i feel that God worked. I got to know some of the awesome people even better.
• Rachel,her mom and sister came down and got me sunday afternoon (like 4 hours after i was done with the retreat),we went to missoula stayed the night and then went shopping on monday and came back to kspell monday night...
• I was supossed to move into my new house, but matts sister may actually be moving to kspell so we may get a place together, so i am currently staying at rachels house till like camp starts...thats cool...
• Thats about all that is new in my life...hope all is well with yall :)

<3>

HOLA...

...yall

• Hope you are all doing well...
• life is going good...
• just finishing up school...
• i have mixed feelings:sad and happy...
• I shall miss my good friends...
• dang it all it snowed like 4 inches yesterday...
• I am getting excited for camp and summer...
• I may have found a place to live for fall 09...
• I got into massage school... :)
• ILOVE YOU AUNTE' B :)

shawn mcdonald....

... what a gift you hold

I am sitting here in a coffee shop in bozeman listening to shawn mcdonalds live in seattle and all i can say is God blessed that man with an incredible gift. I love all of his music but there is something about his live in seattle cd that God uses to reach in and touch my soul. His music seems to connect to the cry of my heart to God. My soul deep within seems to relax in peace... I understand its not him or his music but the Holy Spirit but He uses this simple human gift of music. Well not simple because we all know music is not my gift :)
It amazes me how God uses us humans for stuff, i mean i mess up all the time...daily/hourly/by the minute actually by the second yet God has a purpose for my life that will bring Him glory. It gets me He doesnt just have a purpose but a purpose that can bring the God of the universe glory. Can you imagine what kind of purpose that is?? Its big enough to bring God glory. WOW
Moving on. Today is a day filled with the light of the sun, and it makes my heart rejoice! I know i know my heart needs to rejoice no matter the weather... why do we allow such little things to impact our heart? Tomorrow, next month, ten years from now we wont remember what the weather was like but we shall remember how our hearts felt, what that time of life was like spiritually and emotionally for us, yet we allow such insignificant things to cloud our vision and our souls deep emotions.
I am done being being reflective :) life is good, had a good weekend.... sunday is easter!!! Love that day...Thank you Jesus for your work on the cross!
Much love to all,
Karda

...its been...

awhile...

hey yall sorry i know its been awhile since my last post... life is going good... i have three really good friends here that i enjoy and man what fun adventures we have had here are a list of some of them...

• went to billings for shopping and olive garden...had a "vampire" waiter
• dressed in crazy clothes and had a picture taking sesson at the library...we have more photo sessons in the works like dressing up and going to the cementary
• hawaiian themed mystery party ahaha
• driving around trying to do donuts(failing miserably), going and listening to music and our stupid comments
• sledding through a treey patch and then being cold and super wet going to coldstone for ice cream and caitlin gets a guys number :)
• kidnapping them going to old chigago, then mini golfing ahaha and watching cool runnings
• every moment with them is super funny filled with stupid comments and just plain enjoyment of each others company... I thank God He introduced these people to me and placed them in my life...this year without them would have been depressing and lonely... so ya thats been alot of my crazy times...
• we hang out about at least twice a week so ya..

LOVE YOU CAITLIN,DEMINA AND MCKENNA!!!!

a year of poetry

BREATH

Taking a deep breath
Reminds me I am alive
Alive for what I ask?
Am I alive to wander,
To slowly crawl,
To glory You?
Your deep voice,
Resonates in my heart
“To glory Me“.
I desire you to glory Me
Even when taking a deep breath
You shout into my heart.

HEART

My heart is yours
From the day I was born
for you it was meant
I do not know your name
Oh but God does
For he created you
There were times when I desired
To give my heart away
Oh but God prevented that
He knew the day would come
When with tears of joy
I would want to gift you with my whole heart
That day has not yet come
I am holding onto God
Fully trusting in His plan
For one day upon you my eyes will fall
And with Gods leading
My heart you’ll hold

THOUGHTS
Thoughts criss-cross my mind
Missing the familiar
What does my future hold?
Why would our magnificent God choose me?
Does anyone want to be my friend?
Then I am reminded, you’re gently calling
I have loved you with an everlasting love
That is why I have chosen you
And yes though the world may seem to forsake you
I will be your friend

O GOD
Even when my heart breaks in half
I will find my joy in you
You would take my broken heart over no heart at all
O God you are my God
I will find who I am in you
God you don’t make mistakes
You are the perfect Creator of all
O God you are my God
Oh God I am fearfully,
Fearfully and wonderfully made
You sculpted me with utmost care and precision
O God you are my God
I am content in who you’ve made me to be
There one day will be one
He will appreciate who you’ve molded me to be
O God you are my God
Until that day comes I’ll cling to you
For you desire the best for me
I will rejoice in you
O God you are my God

DARKNESS
Dark is closing in
My heart cries for help
I stumble along the path
Tears cling to my cheek.
A hand grabs mine
A warmness begins to surround me
Slowly a light is growing
Where is this light?
The light is growing brighter
It coming from me
Who knew that combined with You
I held the power to chase the dark away?

FALLING
I stand afar and dream
of days gone by with you
when with a glance we’d talk
not with walls but with the truth
How long ago it seems
but twas only yesterday i fell
fell from the height i stood
fell all the way to you
what a fall it was
the laughter on the way
the fear that wrapped its arms around
oh but in the end the joy of falling for you

LIGHT
Rays of sunshine to a darkened world
Is for what we all should strive
For our dear Savior has called us to be,
Lights to a dark and dying world
A smile to a weary soul, a kind touch
All can be done to shine for Jesus
So in shining let Christ's love glow
Glowing not only to those we love, but all peoples

WONDER
As I quietly sit in a sun lit room
I wonder as I ponder what are you thinking?
Do you think of me by day or night?
Is there in your heart room for me?
Do you see who I am?
For I see the real you
The passion you live with
Your heart beating for our Savior
I wish your thoughts of me were as mine of you
but God is writing my love story, the only beautiful way
So may it be His will if He so desires,
To lead us one to another.

So this is the poetry i have written in the last year...

feelings...

so i found my younger sister,older sister,younger brother and older brother...have talked to my sisters...older bro hasnt called me back yet and younger bro just hasnt called yet...


this whole thing has been super scary...would they want to talk to me..do they even have any interest? I mean jade and jarod tried to contact me a while back and i said no..so now will they want anything to do with me? Its been like 17 years...or their entire lifetime...what really makes someone a sibling...is it birth, is it choice? I dont just want to find them, i want to build a relationship with them, but will they want any part of that?? Is it oh she is okay, thats good and leave it there ya know...
Well so i have talked to Jade and Kenyada..both went well in my opinion...i would love to forge a relationship with them, family is so important..i dont know if they have the same feelings or not... I called my older bro jarod on thursday, he has yet to return my call..guess its not important to him... its sometimes hard to realize what you want, isnt what others want ya know? I think ill call my little bro jesse tonight or tomorrow night...its weird how in my heart i love all four of them, yet i dont really know them...its almost a natural thing ya know?? i cant discribe it... and i feel weird and vulnerable... but i am still excited about this all...

differences...

between sisters...
So today i was thinking how different my sister Katie and i are...

• she is preppy/cowgirlish(however that works): I am granolaish:)
• she cant live without country: I prefer a rockier or folkish sound
• she thinks my sense of humor is retarded:i think she doesnt have one
• she wont be "silly" in public: being silly in public is part of life:)
• all she has pierced is her ears:i have my nose pierced
• her friends are preppy or whatever:mine are a comglomerate of who knows what
• she has no desire to (and never has) to go to any bible school: I am on year two
• She is going for a degree in political science/government: This next fall i am goign to massage school
• she is SUPER outgoing: i am alot more introverted(she keeps telling me to break out of my shell)
• she loves to run: i think she is crazy for it
• she dyes her hair blonder:i dye mine brown
• she is 5'6"(average): i am 5'3"(short)
• She could care less about the past:it interests me and i wonder
• she is withdrawn emotionally(i guess emotionally distantish):i need to learn to control my emotions

so ya those are just some of our differences..it makes me laugh... and i guess think...how can two people growing up in the same household(well minus 4 years) be so different...what makes us who we are????

sometimes...

...you just feel like writing....

really not sure what though...

• sometimes i think about the past and wonder what and why
• Sometimes i think about the future and do the same
• i was reading a karen kingsberry book last night and couldnt stop bawling(really quite pathetic)
• in biblical counseling class we had to pick a sin to work on... i went with being controlled by emotions...
• not sure how that will playout yet
• its weird how my sister katie and i have the same issues yet they play out differently(or so i think)
• man i miss getting hugs, i feel since coming to bozeman i dont get enough
• i love to give massages but feel like i dont really have anyone in bozeman to give them too
• this saturday we may take a journey to billings, that should be a fun/FUNNY adventure
• i am sad i dont get invited to any of the bible college things
• i would love to see one of my two best friends
• sometimes i wonder why people ask my advice or tell me things because half (actually most of the time) i have no idea what to say, and i fail.
• if i go without laughing for any semi medium amount of time, i start to feel sad
• according to Mckenna i have a passion for birth-defected australians(actually he was new zealand there Mckenna:))
• i need to work on not reacting:P
• dawn loves to run over small kittens in her car( i swear i didnt put that as your status,whoever did is funny though)
• my class on cults is SUPER interesting, but half the time i am blown away how it even makes sense to them
• i would love to be able to write a book

well i am getting tired..so i shall continue my crazy lists later

long time...

no write...

I thought i would stop in and say hi...sorry i go through bouts of good blog writting haha... lets see...there is nothing really new going on in my life..

• still in bozeman...
• oh wait my amazing best friend Rachel is engaged and gettting married...
• i am sad i am not there to help her plan :( wish i was!
• i may be developing a new crush...
• i shall counsel at snow camp in feb and am super excited
• i shall turn 21 while at snow camp haha
• i saw an adorable little boy today with glasses almost as big as his face..SO CUTE
• we are singing Uncreated one by Chris Tomin in choir..guys check out those lyrics its amazing
• i am signing off...

ADIOS MI AMIGOS...BUENOS NOCHES

my classes...

this semester are:

Intro to Philosophy

Intro to Biblical Counseling

Choir

Cults and the Occult

Evangelism and Discipleship II

Spiritual Warfare in missions

trains...

are slow...

okay so my train was supossed to leave monday morning at 7:46 am, and get to my destination tuesday at 3:10 am...but this is what really happened left montana at 4:10 am on tuesday and reached my destination at 2;30(montana time) am wednesday morning....i was on that train for 22 hours, but actually it wasnt so bad, slept most of the time,stared out of the window,only read one and half books i know shocker of all shockers... talked to no one...i was not being anti social just no one sitting near me so i didnt go out of my way and make alot of effort obviously...g2g get ready for youth group more laterz peace
karda

new years day...

and my feelings...

KO, so my news years plans were not the intricate but they were special.. i went on a "date" with my best friend rachel...we went to the thai palace, then went and rented like four movies(death race,i can do bad all by myself(tyler perry play), ghost town, and two weeks notice) then went for smoothies and shared a blondie brownie at applebees, then came home and watched part of diary of a mad black woman with momma lisa,and then we watched two weeks notice..i like that movie alot...so as you can see man are we ever cool...haha...it was nice to have a "date" with her... so ya then today rachels parents,me,rachel and her two four year old brothers went sledding,then we got sarah("our" sister who is 14, actually rachels little sis), and matt(rachels boyfriend) joined us and we went to perkins for dinner, then matt,rachel and i rented wanted and came home and watched it...cant say i am a fan...just not my style i guess... tomorrow or such we shall watch death race...must say i am excited lol...

ok so my feelings i was just thinking how sad it is that i am not really friends with anyone i went to high school with, we never really talk to each other and that makes me sad,but i must say its pretty much my fault..i never really made an effort with them and now that makes me sad:(...

also today was kinda emotional for me...there were a few tears shed...silly friend...i love them alot,but hey lets face it they are flakey lol and can really hurt my feelings, i know they mean well and i actually believe they do love me,but sometimes in my dramaticness i forget that or have too high expectations for this person...you would think by now i would know that but i guess i keep hoping...but no matter what i love them and always will they are my friend and i am loyal...so ya there are my feelings and such ha

friendship(version2)