secret rendezvous...

....with the neighbor...
ok so its a joke my roomates beth and caitlin and i came up with...i have secret rendezvous with the neighbor..i climb out my window at night and we meet at the flamingos..though we did take a break cuz his max bacus sign upset me...the rendezvous are quite the thing you know..lol

ok so today i was thinking about how our favorite classic movies always have a "savior" we all cling to these because we think it will fill our need..even cinderella and such ya know... it just fascinates me...

so today i had an opportunity to stand alone..we did this thing on values at my mentorship training...so there was a question on if you think established religion was important out of thirty i was the only one who said yes...then there was the question do you think someone should be married before living together..one girl joined me on that..then was death penalty and like 3 joined us and then came whether we agree with the us involvement in iraq.. stood alone agian... so ya.. and the lady asked us on the marriage one how we felt.. i was okay with it which actually surprised me... but ya... this was to prove we all have different values and thats okay and such ya relativism... its everywhere... LOVE YOU

sometimes praying...

through the tears brings healing...

have you been where you thought you were over something, but then something happens and you realize maybe you werent? Today that happened to me but the minute the tears began the prayers also began of blessing and joy for those involved and i could feel the release, the final healing..i think that prayer through the tears is probably what God wanted from me from the start...so there is my insight for the day:)

so last night i went bowling at the msu bowling alley with some friends...it was fun..but shock of all shocks i lost..wow imagine that with my intense bowling skills who would have thought:)? Then we returned to the dorms and a group of us played Quelf omg that is the funniest/funnest game i have ever played in my life... I havent laughed so hard in a long time..i was crying i was laughing so hard... i reccomend this game for everyone its super great and SO MUCH FUN!!! so ya that is pretty much it for today:)

I asked my two best freinds and my sister to describe me... Dawn:honest,genuine,giving,super-sensitive,intelligent Dawn also described me in non adjectives...Moon, old faithful,cherries,teddybear,and lilacs
Katie:joyful,opintionated,conservative,introverted.loyal
Rachel:faithful, passionate,compassionate,joyful,and god focused

what is sin...

.... is shyness???...

today i came to the conclusion that it is, if it makes you not reach out to people or just i guess take an interest in than yes it is, my friend Matt says its not and that i am just trying to overcome my shyness and want to find a reason why i should. He claims that God creates people shy but i have yet too see how that is glorifying to Him. A quiet spirit or quietness maybe of actually for sure but shyness not really. I guess i am on some levels confused on this... I feel that sometimes i come across as a snob and that's not something i want. Maybe its just me not being content in who God made me... i don't know i guess i am struggling with this issue now so if y'all have any input let me know)

Well i am making friends and i don't hate it here anymore:) that's a good sign right??? Classes are still going well. Halloween is coming up and i am pretty much excited. I shall be a basketball player lol...with an Afro:) so what else shall i share? oh yes i went to this thing called A call to worship Sunday night at msu and it was so great just to worship God and feel the weight of the world fall away, and then Caitlin my roommate and i then sang worship songs on the walk back underneath the stars it was really beautiful and just calming i guess. I am also still working on the whole contentment issue but i think i am getting better thank you God! so ya oh and on sunday after church Caitlin and i went to our first home away from home meal with the couple that "adopted" us. I really enjoyed that, they are very neat people. It didnt feel really awkward which is always nice ya know? well i have class tonight and some homework to do actually.... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully i will keep more up with this:)

Breath
Taking a deep breath
Reminds me I am alive
Alive for what I ask?
Am I alive to wander,
To slowly crawl,
To glory You?
Your deep voice,
Resonates in my heart
To glory Me.
I desire you to glory Me
Even when taking a deep breath
You shout into my heart.

Heart
My heart is yours
From the day I was born
for you it was meant
I do not know your name
Oh but God does
For he created you
There were times when I desired
To give my heart away
Oh but God prevented that
He knew the day would come
When with tears of joy
I would want to gift you with my whole heart
That day has not yet come
I am holding onto God
Fully trusting in His plan
For one day upon you my eyes will fall
And with Gods leading
My heart you’ll hold

Thoughts
Thoughts criss-cross my mind
Missing the familiar
What does my future hold?
Why would our magnificent God choose me?
Does anyone want to be my friend?
Then I am reminded you gently calling
I have loved you with an everlasting love
That is why I have chosen you
And yes though the world may seem to forsake you
I will be your friend

an uber fast...

...update...

hello world what is up my friends?? Hope yall are doing amazingly fabtastically awesome! I love you aunte' b :) well so lets see... its still hard on the making friends front but i am slowly making progress i do believe or so i hope lol...well i have had some little pity parties but thankfully God is there to tell me to get over myself... my life is not about me but all about glorifing Him. Its definately humbling ya know? Well the weekend of the 3-5th of october i will be going on the grace college life retreat that should be a fun adventure and i am excited... oh ya i hang out with my roomate Caitlin quite abit she is a very nice girl, that i get along really well with. Oh ya yesterday i walked all over the place i would say 5 miles or so and that is not an embelishment :) well then i was still hyper last night and said i wanted to dance around so beth put some african music on for me but it was to slow so we updated to swing and man was the fun...Caitlin joined in with my random dancing and then beth taught caitlin the swing steps and then me some new moves..YAY i love dancing... so last night i also went to cru (campus crusade) my second time..its pretty good just really huge... when i got home some chicas from the bible college were watching a movie with beth... so caitlin and i joined in on the watching of enchanted.. i like that movie alot...well i have to go...loves to you all and ya there is my random ramblings :)

poem from this summer....

...that i found in a notebook..

O God

Even when my heart breaks in half

I will find my joy in you

You would take my broken heart,

over no heart at all.

O God you are my God

I will find who i am in you

God you don't make mistakes

You are the perfect creator of all

Oh God you are my God

I am fearfully

fearfully and wonderfully made

You sculpted me with utmost care and precision

O God you are my God

I am content in who you've made me to be

There one day will be the one

He will appreciate who you've molded me to be

Until that day comes I'll cling to you

O God you are my God

I will find my joy in you

hello world...

...its karda...

So week 2 of school starts tomorrow and so far so good..today i went to church at Grace and i liked it and i als:)o went to their college group, that was really cool and very enjoyable. Things are really not so awkward anymore which i am sure happy about! So i think i am on my way to making friends! HECK YES:) So ya what has God been teaching? Well the other day in devotions i was reading in my devotional book My upmost for his highest and it was talking about lusting after things and not necessarily bad things and God really showed me i am lusting after a relationship and that needs to stop... Relationships are not bad things of course but only in Gods perfect timing. So that is something i am currently woking on, and waiting to see how God moves. so ya if you have any advice or comments PLEASE share thanks:)
love you
Karlina

....scary...

...can be life sometimes...
so life sure can be awkward,weird and scary and full of sadness sometimes. So this weekend i learned that a guy who went to my high school committed suicide. Many of my high school friends were close with him and this brings me much sadness! Then yesterday i was also informed that a guy who was a year ahead of me in high school shot his father. Those are just things that happened in this area recently...i mean today i went to the fox news website and all over the place their is reports of people(kids) being shot,stabbing one another and even a 100 year old lady shot and killed. It brings me much sadness to see this disparity in our human race... so that's my feelings on that...Well i am in bozeman now and its an interesting thing... I have three other housemates and two of those three never seem to be around so i really don't know them at all..but the other one is pretty awesome and i enjoy spending time with her...the other two seem really nice but i still don't know much about them... so lets see today is the first day of class and i had to be here at 7 for devotions but then the next thing i have is chapel at 11 am rar so i am sitting here in the library chilling and drinking coffee so ya that's all for now folks lol... love you guys! Muah
Karlina

...do these eyes say...

... good sense of humor to you?...

So my cousin works at Macy's and friday i went to see her do her dance performance there well i met her co-worker Jim and so today when Jayme went to work he told her that i had a good sense of humor because he could see it in my eyes! If thats not crazy i dont know what is... also her boss said i was shy lol and then earlier last week like wednesday i think i met her friend Ben from her old job and he texted her later and said i seemed like a sweetheart but i was shy... This is the first time in my life i have met people and then had them comment on what they think i am like..its actually pretty entertaining to see how people judge you, ya know? Well i thought i would share that with yall loves to you

...its a wonder...

...what God can do...

so awhile back i was dealing with some matters of the heart, i couldn't really talk to a person because of my feelings about that person, so i did the "thing" and told them that my side of the relationship had to change, well its wasn't much later one night in chapel at camp i chose a random worship song we hadn't done all summer;
Surrender

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within

I lay it all down for the sake of you my King

I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights

I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you

And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross

And all the world holds dear,

I count it all as loss For the sake of knowing You

for the glory of Your name

To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

©2000 Vineyard Songs (UK/Eire)Words and Music by Marc James

and for some reason well i loved it the first time, but it just really hit me the second day we sang it...all of a sudden i was on my knees crying( i am sure my girls thought i had lost my mind) that it needs to be something i am living not just singing and its amazing how God can change your heart, your feelings,and your attitude... i am sharing this with the whole not talking thing because God changed my perspective on that He is ultimately in control and i should surrender to Him my feelings and desires and He will take care of them, and i shouldn't shut people out of my life just because it might make my life a little uncomfortable or anything of the sort... i finally felt like i could share this um not sure why or if anyone cares..but there you go.. i actually haven't talked to anyone at all about this yet lol.. love you mucho mas

...the next step...

....of the journey of my life and past happenings...

So camp is over...it was a sad sad day! But the last two weeks were good! All boys was fun with my girls, it was sad to say goodbye to Kristine and Thomas but mostly Kristine:) But they had to go so they could get married lol:) ha ha sad we had to miss the wedding... well lets see what else about all boys week... i got dehydrated and really tired so didn't feel so well one day till i had a three hour nap and drank some water then i felt better lol... its weird what tiredness can do to you, i felt like i was going to throw up... so ya i just read my last post holy cow random weirdness:)!
ok so then it was all girls junior and i had fifth graders. My girls were great i loved them a lot. I didn't have any bad cabins this summer( just some campers i didn't like as much as the other ones:) but no bad ones) God surely did bless me but then our God is pretty much the rockinest thing ever! Ok so ya Jesse and Heidi Jost were the speakers, it was good. It just didn't seem like the gospel was really presented which made me sad, but the girls enjoyed it and got stuff out of it which is always beneficial. Well then it came time to say goodbye to my girls and that was sad man i loved spending time with such godly woman who inspire me to be all God created me to be, and allow me to be who i am and love me still.
So then i rode with Rebecca to helena to stay with my aunt and cousin till school starts the 27th well school doesnt start till the 3rd but oreintaion stuff starts the 29th. Well i am so enjoying my time with my Aunte'B and cousin Jayme. They are amazing and its great to see how we have grown up and how we can now be friends unlike a lot of the time when we were little. I will share more about my time after i leave because then it will be complete:) though today Jayme has a dance team thing at Macys and i am SO excited to see her dance.
Ok so about school I will be going to Montana Bible College in bozeman. I could only be a part time student this fall, but i will be full time spring semester. So that ment i had to find a place to live which was a little scary well then i texted Angie and told her about it, so she told me i should call Kim because she might know of a place and so i did so and Kim called me back and said the place she was staying didn't have any more room but she had heard of this other house that had a room left and gave me the girls name Rachel and her number so i called and got the place. All i know is there are three other girls around my age, they are Christians, one is named Rachel, guys are not allowed to spend the night,it is an alchohol free house and that they like kids. All she asked me was how old i was and then told me those things the other girls or she had decided on and asked if i liked kids. So it was really easy..actually i just called and got the girls names lol... well God is good and i have to go love yall

...matters of significance...

... are not found here:)...

ya i know what i say is usually random going ons and nothing really of significence well be prepared for nothing:) haha so last week was jr high and i loved it.. it was one of my favorite weeks... i love the whole jr high age they are pretty much some sweet kids:), and then this past week was all boys..haha so work crew for us four girl counselors haha the adventures of the Happy, Pepper,Ducky,and Charm:) well pepper and i went to rent a movie and i got told i looked 13 or 14 maybe 12 thats always fun stuff:), went t0 applebees one night for dinner (that was good to just chill with my girls...) so we have one more week left sadness apon sadnessess:P haha...
I am currently addicted to the twilight sega of books(about vampires and such things:) also a song by josh turner featuring anthony hamilton that i listen to about four times a day haha lol...lets see oh yes sweedish fish also.. i think thats about that on that front...
i miss rachel mucho mas of course but am glad its all going well and that she loves africa... so ya hmm.... let me know if you want more details...oh yes my heart is beating just so ya know..( i know you were cursious...) though i am turning angie into a vampire this weekend...or maybe no so we can be gypsies when we are 30 and still single :)

....sunburns,ipods,and laughter...

...just some of lifes adventures:)...

so well hmm ready for my random blog post??? haha you had better be...well two weeks or so agian i got sunburned on my back SOOOOOOOOOOO bad but it was my own fault i was stupid but man alive did it hurt.. couldnt sleep one night it hurt so bad.. at least though i wasnt stupid alone my friend angie got it with me haha... lifes more fun when you are not stupid by yourself..right? So we only have 4 more weeks of camp left sadness deep deep...

Camp promise is officially all over, the second week was so cool there were these woman in my dorm and on my floor that were so AWESOME... they made it so much fun, and caused lots and lots of laughter :) and this past week was all girls jr. high oh what a fun fun adventure in the camp life. I love that week and age group and my girls were simply fabtastic and i cant say anything bad about it they made me laugh and smile and cry for their futures. I find myself praying desperately for their futures and that they are God honoring and help to change the world. I see such potential and hope in them and i pray that never changes.

ok so ya now about the ipod i bought a pink ipod nano and i LURVE it alot, its great adn so easy to use ya know? So ya thats about the ipod.. Priyanke leaves on friday and i am going to be SOOOO sad man i will miss that guy... but thankfully i am spending saturday with rachel and that will help keep my mind off it kinda hopefully... Rachel and i have a date because a week from tomorrow she goes to africa for a month and when she gets back i will be in bozeman so ya.. SADNESS.... um lets see oh ya lol

my friends keep me laughing they are always telling me what about so and so( Dawn says they are just making a pool of guys for me to choose from) they pick crazy random guys and i jokingly said the other day if i went for half of who you choose i would be a polyigamist haha.. so my crazy crazy friends..

well folks thats all the randomness for now...love mucho mas mi amigos
Karda

larva infestations,yelling campers,missoula...

... and just camp life in general...

so i am at camp lol... just finished up week three of actually camp and week four of being here..( staff training, junior week 1, high school, and then camp promise 1)... talk about hard,fun,rewarding, and stretching adverntures in my life.... so there are four girl counselors here for the whole summer....( and others who are here random weeks)... Angie is 19, Rebecca is 21, Kristine is 19, and then there is me at 20. One guy counselor for the whole summer... Thomas is 22 an d Kristine's finacee.... so staff training was great getting to know everyone... one of my old counselors Sarah (22) is the programing director so thats pretty much amazing... the assistant cook is anne(21) and so ya i love all of them they kick butt:) Priyanke is here till the 25th going to miss him bunchez when he goes...i have such a bond with these guys... well the girls for the most part are supremely tight, kristine on the weekends is usually with thomas which makes sense so ya here are about the weeks of camp and then some fun adventures...

Week 1 jr week... was really good my girls were pretty much amazing i had 5th graders and i adored them. One of them got saved right as her mom came to pick her up saturday... SWEET NECTARNESS...

week 2 high school week... super hard, some of my girls tried to sneak out.. it was just emotionally draining and a tough but stretching week... but God got me through

week 3 camp promise one... holy cow tough, emotionaly and physically draing but God showed up and helped me out..YA GOD!!!! God is just making me grow into the woman He wants me to be...

so here are some stories lol...

so the whole larva(maggot) infestation in crestion....me,angie and rebecca were sitting in there and rebecca says something is falling on her and we dont believe her, but then angie sees them on her and it was maggots fromt he ceiling..we pretty much ran out screaming and were not happy at all..the building has now been sprayed by a bug guy so we should be good lol... it was quite the adventure so ya...

um last weekend we(rebecca,angie,anne,vanessa,and i) went to missoula and stayed at Sarah's house...it was so much fun...and then this weekend some of us just chilled together.. and us girls (well mostly anne,sarah,and i ) stay up late into the weekend nights talking about pretty much everything.... its go great to have these bonds with people and to feel so connected to them....

so thats the generals of my summer...its been great so far lol...love you guys

coming up....

...in this crazy road...
So sunday begins staff training and i am looking forward to it...its going to be an adventure and new experience for me. I dont have any really good friends who will be counseling for the whole summer. With alot of the "oldies" gone its going to be wierd and different, but on some level i think its going to be so fabulous. I just feel that God is going to do some really amazing stuff. I pray that he uses me in the amazing stuff He has planned. So ya that is what starts on sunday:) i will be posting updates and going ons all summer long so stay tuned:)....
So i know i have put alot on here in the past on how my heart is doing and what i was feeling..so if anyone is reading this and wants an update here you go :) My heart in the matters of love is doing great. I believe on some level i have finally maybe hopefully given God control or at least more than i gave Him before. I guess i still wonder,struggle,and get confused i am not sure that will ever change but i believe i have kinda somewhat learned to be content in where God has put me. I mean i still struggle with stuff. For instance last night at church this lady Sydney was asking me some Bible question and was like but i think its easier single dont you? And she was shocked when i was like um i wouldnt know, I have never been on a date, let alone asked out on a date. That is something i sturggle with. But hey thats life and God has a plan in it all. He has someone out there for me and when its His time He will bring him into my life and make it known to me :). Well there you go luvs... there is my hearts place as of today!

FALLING...

... not written for anyone or about anyone if you are wondering...

Falling

I stand afar and dream

of days gone by with you

when with a glance we'ld talk

not with walls but with the truth

How long ago it seems

but twas only yesterday i fell

fell from the height i stood

fell all the way to you

what a fall it was

the laughter on the way

the fear that wrapped its arms around

oh but in the end the joy of falling for you

the bold part is my favorite section i just really like it.. so ya share what you think be honest

hello world...

...yes i am alive...
hey yall yes i am alive:) i know you havent heard from me in awhile just wanted to say hey and that i am ok and i love you all and hope all is well with you!
love you;)
karda

long time...

... since you have heard from me...

So ya its been forever since i have posted on here..i am sure you are all dying for updates (those of you who read this haha) so ya life as of lately has been a crazy mixed up time for me. There has been just weird friend drama that really wasnt anything lol, but most of all there are some friends who i am super worried about i cant go into details but stuff isnt good and they just really need yalls prayers, it has me scared for them and sad. I only want the best for these amazing wonderful individuals and so ya just keep "karlina's friends" in your prayers so ya what else is new? hmm... well i am into american idol, gotta say i love Jason Castro(he is a hottie)(i love his music too:)), Brooke white(i love her unique voice), and David Archuletta (AMAZING voice), oh and for some reason as of this tuesday i think david cook is really attractive(not sure why but i think maybe its the scruffy look :P) i think the scruffy look is sexy :oX shhh... so ya as of matters of the heart?? well i dont feel comfortable sharing on here, so if you are curious just go ahead and ask me:)
LOVE YOU ALL MUAH

WE WON....

...the bible quiz...

So in case yall didnt know Rachel and i were the JV quiz coaches for bible quiz and they won the quiz(not the travleing trophey) with a score of 1150... we were so proud of them they totally killed it.. they missed 0 in multiple choice and then when it came time for whiteboards they only didnt answer two questions so they didnt get minus points just zero on those two questions but got the rest right sometimes they were the only ones with the correct answer... man they worked so hard and it all paid off:) we almost cried we were so proud...one group of the highschoolers took 2nd they did okay and their banner won:) haha i got called a traitor..i saw Jr Garcia and Micah (from polson) and they totally made fun of me...lol and called me a traitor. It was fabulous to see them...

o ya the weekend before when i went to havre was a total and complete blast, i had so much fun with Justin and Greg they are some great guys..and i feel blessed to know them(most of the time anyway :) ), i enjoy their company and feel so comfortable with them lol.. Justin is like a brother to me, and greg well i just feel comfortable with him :)... I will post pictures soon ;)

so i have been having headaches pretty much every day and have decided i need to go to the eye doctor and get glasses..also i am going to go to a massage therapist and then the chiropractor and see if that helps. Hope fully it will...

So sunday-tuesday we went on a school retreat to the luthern camp on flathead lake in lakeside... it was a time of pure beauty and i so enjoyed myself... i had fun "playing" on the rocks with justin,trav,greg and pri...(travis and pri are so awesome... i love those two) and ha pri stabbed me in the arm with a plastic fork(okay so maybe more like poked me), i thought about doing it to him first but decided it was mean lol, but i did it back to him(real mature i know, but hey it was fun), we learned about the holiness of God and it was so cool to hear about and i guess come to a better understanding about His holiness... God is rockin amazing and He astounds me all the time( He shouldnt i know but He does)


Divine Romance Lyrics
The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty's all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I'm completely satisfied
For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love
A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it's filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I'm completely satisfied

is that not an amazing song last night we(Rachel,Jeffy,Mason and Hadden) went to the phil wickham and greg laurie thing at freshlife and that is one song Phil Wickham sang and i loved it...such a true amazing song.. Greg laurie was pretty much amazing too...well thats about it.. i love you guys... and more of my thughts to come and pictures too lol :)

quizzes

Who You Should Vote For

Mike Huckabee: 73%
John McCain: 40%
Hillary Clinton: 33%
Ron Paul: 27%
Barack Obama: 13%

Who you agree with on the war in Iraq: Mike Huckabee and John McCain

Who you agree with on the economy: Hillary Clinton

Who you agree with on health care: Mike Huckabee, John McCain and Ron Paul

Who you agree with on taxes: Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton

Who you agree with on abortion: Mike Huckabee and John McCain

Who you agree with on gay rights: Mike Huckabee